"There is no excuse for rude treatment by IRS personnel. They are on the public payroll, and their job is to serve the public."
—U.S. Senator Jim Jeffords (I-Vermont), member, Senate Finance Committee
Stung by criticism about poor service, the Internal Revenue Service is determined as never before to win the hearts and minds of ordinary taxpayers. So the agency is revamping its most commonly used form, the 1040 EZ, to be more sensitive. Below is a prototype—the 1040 Project Uplift, Healing & Love Esteem EZ, or PUH-LEEZ.
Social Security number: __________
Favorite color: __________
Attach W-2 forms here, and requests for U2 tickets.
Total wages, salaries and tips: __________
Total wages, salaries and tips you deserved: __________
Use this form if:
a) You are a U.S. citizen;
b) Your taxable income was over $17,500 and under $100,000;
c) You enjoy sharing with people who won’t judge you.
(Helpful IRS Hint: Are you overweight? Hey, don’t beat yourself up about it. Try eating six or seven small meals a day instead of two or three big ones. You'll eat less, feel better and probably pay less tax.)
Please check the appropriate box:
Are you single? Yes___No___
Do you want to be single? Yes___No___
Do you tell people "I'm fine alone," but inside it hurts real bad? Yes___No___
(Helpful IRS Hint: Forget the bar scene. A great place to meet a future spouse is at adult education courses, a house of worship or a tax seminar. Why not include a recent photo with your tax return? Maybe we can help. After all, we know everybody.)
Are you married? Yes___No___
Do you "keep score" in your marriage? Yes___No___
Do you tell people "I'm fine with my marriage," but inside it hurts real bad? Yes___No___
Draw a picture of what you're thinking about right now. Use watercolors, acrylics, crayons—just express yourself. Don't be afraid to incorporate unicorns and rainbows.