The Vice Presidents That History Forgot
The U.S. vice presidency has been filled by a rogues gallery of mediocrities, criminals and even corpses
- By Tony Horwitz
- Smithsonian magazine, July-August 2012, Subscribe
In 1966, I stood outside my elementary school in Maryland, waving a sign for Spiro Agnew. He was running for governor against a segregationist who campaigned on the slogan, “Your Home Is Your Castle—Protect It.” My parents, like many Democrats, crossed party lines that year to help elect Agnew. Two years later, he became Richard Nixon’s surprise choice as running mate, prompting pundits to wonder, “Spiro who?” At 10, I was proud to know the answer.
Agnew isn’t otherwise a source of much pride. He became “Nixon’s Nixon,” an acid-tongued hatchet man who resigned a year before his boss, for taking bribes. But “Spiro who?” turned me into an early and enduring student of vice-presidential trivia. Which led me, a few months ago, to Huntington, Indiana, an industrial town that was never much and is even less today. It’s also the boyhood home of our 44th vice president.
His elementary school is unmarked, a plain brick building that’s now a senior citizens center. But across the street stands an imposing church that has been rechristened the “Quayle Vice Presidential Learning Center.” Inside the former chapel, you can see “Danny” Quayle’s report card (A’s and B’s), his toy truck and exhibits on his checkered tenure as vice president. He “accomplished more than most realize,” a caption states, noting Quayle’s visits to 47 countries and his chairmanship of the Council on Competitiveness.
But the learning center isn’t a shrine to Quayle—or a joke on its namesake, who famously misspelled “potato.” It is, instead, a nonpartisan collection of stories and artifacts relating to all 47 vice presidents: the only museum in the land devoted to the nation’s second-highest office. This neglect might seem surprising, until you tour the museum and learn just how ignored and reviled the vice presidency has been for most of its history. John Nance Garner, for one, said the job wasn’t worth a bucket of warm spit.
“Actually, Garner said ‘piss,’ not spit, but the press substituted another warm bodily fluid,” notes Daniel Johns, the museum director. This polishing of Garner’s words marked a rare instance of varnish being applied to the office. While Americans sanctify the presidency and swathe it in myth, the same has rarely applied to the president’s “spare tire,” as Garner also called himself.
“Ridicule is an occupational hazard of the job,” Johns observes, leading me past political cartoons, newspaper invective and portraits of whiskered figures so forgotten that the museum has struggled to find anything to say or display about them. He pauses before a group portrait of Indiana’s five VPs, a number that stirs Hoosier pride—except that the first, Schuyler Colfax, took bribes in a railroad scandal and died unrecognized on a railroad platform.
“His picture should be hung a little more crooked,” Johns quips. He moves on to Colfax’s successor, Henry Wilson, who died in office after soaking in a tub. Then comes William Wheeler, unknown even to the man at the top of the ticket in 1876. “Who is Wheeler?” Rutherford B. Hayes wrote upon hearing the quiet congressman suggested as his running mate.
The VP museum, which once used the advertising motto “Second to One,” isn’t kind to the nation’s founders, either. It was they who are largely to blame for the rogues, also-rans and even corpses who have often filled the office. The Constitution gave almost no role to the vice president, apart from casting tie-breaking votes in the Senate. John Adams, the first to hold the job, called it “the most insignificant office that ever the invention of man contrived.”
The Constitution also failed to specify the powers and status of vice presidents who assumed the top office. In fact, the second job was such an afterthought that no provision was made for replacing VPs who died or departed before finishing their terms. As a result, the office has been vacant for almost 38 years in the nation’s history.
Until recently, no one much cared. When William R.D. King died in 1853, just 25 days after his swearing-in (last words: “Take the pillow from under my head”), President Pierce gave a speech addressing other matters before concluding “with a brief allusion” to the vice president’s death. Other number-twos were alive but absentee, preferring their own homes or pursuits to an inconsequential role in Washington, where most VPs lived in boardinghouses (they had no official residence until the 1970s). Thomas Jefferson regarded his vice presidency as a “tranquil and unoffending station,” and spent much of it at Monticello. George Dallas (who called his wife “Mrs. Vice”) maintained a lucrative law practice, writing of his official post: “Where is he to go? What has he to do?—no where, nothing.” Daniel Tompkins, a drunken embezzler described as a “degraded sot,” paid so little heed to his duties that Congress docked his salary.
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Comments (8)
Tony Horwitz took me on a delightful ramble down vice-presidential history, but I was surprised to get to the end of the piece and not encounter a reference to the fabulous Tom Lehrer and his ditty, “Whatever Happened to Hubert?” You can find it in the collection “That Was The Week That Was” (TW3). By the way, Mr. Lehrer ought to be a National Treasure and his songs ought to be required listening for every 20th-century history curriculum.
Posted by Ellen B. Cutler on August 15,2012 | 03:16 PM
I know some very smart folk who couldn't spell their way out of a paper bag. Intelligence and spelling ability are not necessarily intertwined.
Posted by Storm on July 15,2012 | 11:06 PM
I was a TV anchor in Texas for many years. So much was made of the Dan Quayle "potatoe" incident that I pulled the video of the CBS Evening News from the night in question and carefully examined it. The word on the flash card Quayle was holding had been spelled "potatoe," which means he had either been set up or had been handed the card by someone particularly stupid. Does that excuse Quayle's misspelling? Well, say I gave you a card with the word "seperate" on it. Would you know it was misspelled or would you be convinced that perhaps you were wrong? Considering we now live in a world where people spell all three forms of "there" as "thier" and I have twice seen people spell "definitely" not as "definately" but as "defiantly," I'd have to say Quayle was not as stupid as charged.
Posted by Chris Marrou on July 9,2012 | 12:27 PM
Great piece!
Posted by steve dennis on July 4,2012 | 04:02 PM
This was a wonderful article, but you failed to mention Marshall's hometown. It's North Manchester,IN, also the hometown of my husband and of Manchester College where a building is named after my late father-in-law [Garver Hall].
Posted by evelyn garver on July 2,2012 | 01:00 PM
It does beg the question - will Obama choose to walk down the same road with Joe Bieden for his second bid of four more years? Truly, some of these guys are loose cannons. Great article. I truly enjoyed reading it.
Posted by Robert Weideman on July 1,2012 | 11:38 AM
This article should be accompanied by the book "Veeps - Profiles in Insignificance" by Bill Kelter and Wayne Shellabarger.
Posted by Vern on June 30,2012 | 03:01 PM
You have to admire the ones who were in on the joke. According to Wikipedia (so take it with a grain of salt) Thomas Marshall was barred from meetings of the Smithsonian board for a year after suggesting the excavate Washington for cave men, as the appearance of current populace suggested they weren't that far removed from them.
Posted by Scott A on June 29,2012 | 11:29 AM