FROM: HUMAN RESOURCES
TO: ALL STAFF
We were very gratified by the positive response to last week's memo, "Cutting Medical Benefits: Healthy Companies Mean Healthy Employees."
This week, we'd like to turn our attention from physical to mental health. Many of you have left notes in our comments box reporting a "worrisome" increase in "unpleasant" work-related dreams. While you might be tempted to interpret these dreams yourself, this is something better left to professionals. What appears on the surface often has a deeper meaning. So, as another employee benefit, your HR department has compiled this guide to four of the most common workplace-related dreams:
An annoying co-worker spends most of the morning talking your ear off about non-work-related matters. You get out of your chair, remove your belt, wrap it around his neck and choke him to death.
WHAT IT MEANS:
The belt represents the workplace constraints that are keeping you from realizing your goals. Taking off your belt is a liberating move demonstrating a fresh approach to a traditional problem. By adopting a new management style, you can put to "death" the rigid work formats that have been holding back your creativity.
Your boss is lecturing you on how to enhance your productivity. Suddenly, you undo your tie and gag him with it.
WHAT IT MEANS:
Are you frustrated by conventional approaches that don't seem to produce results? By taking off your tie, you demonstrate a desire to "undo" conventional limitations and "silence" outmoded problem-solving methods. You should candidly discuss possible new approaches with your boss.