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Requiem for the Redhead

The next great extinction—Carrot Tops

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  • By Patricia McNamee Rosenberg
  • Smithsonian magazine, February 2009, Subscribe
 
Red hair
It has been reported that by the end of the century, redheads will be extinct. (Illustration by Eric Palma)

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Not long ago, newspapers and magazines reported that, by the end of the century, redheads, of whom I am one, will be extinct. Gone. Kaput. Since then, other scientists have raised doubts about the great redhead extinction theory, especially since the research was conducted by the Oxford Hair Foundation—which is funded by Procter & Gamble, which manufactures hair dye. Still, who can say for sure who is right? I'm sure that, back in their day, the dinosaurs were pretty smug too.

Where will we be without people like Danny Bonaduce? Bad example. How about Dwight Eisenhower? Ike was a redhead. (He was younger then.) And what other group could we taunt without fear of retribution? "Hey match-stick head," "I'd rather be dead than red" and "Where did you get that hair?" are just some of the cute comments we get to hear on a daily basis. So if we want little Ron Howards or Lindsay Lohans in the 22nd century, we have to plan ahead.

A common myth has it that redheads have hot tempers. (That one really infuriates me.) Many people believe red-haired women are wild between the sheets. (My husband is not one of them.) Others believe redheads should answer to witty nicknames like "Red," "Carrot Top" and "Peppermint Patty" (mine). In some societies, the term "redhead" is synonymous with hard-headedness, even being mentally challenged. And all this is considered politically correct.

The world will be frightfully ordinary without redheads. Try to picture the year 2150. Everyone will have dark brown hair, brown eyes and faces bereft of orange freckles. Action figures and dolls will be dark-haired, pretty and handsome, but Raggedy Ann will have fallen by the wayside. Redheaded clowns will have all gotten into their tiny cars and driven away, never to return.

Oh, there will be museums featuring redheads of the past. Like the Neanderthal, Hominis redheadis will be a fascinating curiosity. Conspiracy theorists will insist that an entire population was banished to a faraway island, where they step-danced to oblivion. There will be stories about famous redheads: Vincent van Gogh, William Shakespeare, Woody Allen and Lucille Ball, thus illustrating the fine line between genius and insanity. There will be parties at which revelers dress as their favorite redhead: Little Orphan Annie, Woody Woodpecker, Elmo.

How did we get to this sorry state? The redhead sprang from a mutated gene in Europe thousands of years ago. Yes, redheads are mutants, like comic book heroes—except without superpowers. Maybe that's why nobody has proposed a plan to save the redhead. We don't even count as an endangered species. If redheads were as adorable as pandas, scientists would select a male and female and house them in a habitat, such as an Irish pub, that would encourage mating.

On the bright side, the redhead has almost a century left to make its mark in the world and become a legend that will live forever. And I, for one, see a time when people will speak in whispered tones of the days when redheads roamed the earth.

Patricia McNamee Rosenberg lives in Oak Park, Illinois. Thanks to the wonders of chemistry, she is still a redhead.


Not long ago, newspapers and magazines reported that, by the end of the century, redheads, of whom I am one, will be extinct. Gone. Kaput. Since then, other scientists have raised doubts about the great redhead extinction theory, especially since the research was conducted by the Oxford Hair Foundation—which is funded by Procter & Gamble, which manufactures hair dye. Still, who can say for sure who is right? I'm sure that, back in their day, the dinosaurs were pretty smug too.

Where will we be without people like Danny Bonaduce? Bad example. How about Dwight Eisenhower? Ike was a redhead. (He was younger then.) And what other group could we taunt without fear of retribution? "Hey match-stick head," "I'd rather be dead than red" and "Where did you get that hair?" are just some of the cute comments we get to hear on a daily basis. So if we want little Ron Howards or Lindsay Lohans in the 22nd century, we have to plan ahead.

A common myth has it that redheads have hot tempers. (That one really infuriates me.) Many people believe red-haired women are wild between the sheets. (My husband is not one of them.) Others believe redheads should answer to witty nicknames like "Red," "Carrot Top" and "Peppermint Patty" (mine). In some societies, the term "redhead" is synonymous with hard-headedness, even being mentally challenged. And all this is considered politically correct.

The world will be frightfully ordinary without redheads. Try to picture the year 2150. Everyone will have dark brown hair, brown eyes and faces bereft of orange freckles. Action figures and dolls will be dark-haired, pretty and handsome, but Raggedy Ann will have fallen by the wayside. Redheaded clowns will have all gotten into their tiny cars and driven away, never to return.

Oh, there will be museums featuring redheads of the past. Like the Neanderthal, Hominis redheadis will be a fascinating curiosity. Conspiracy theorists will insist that an entire population was banished to a faraway island, where they step-danced to oblivion. There will be stories about famous redheads: Vincent van Gogh, William Shakespeare, Woody Allen and Lucille Ball, thus illustrating the fine line between genius and insanity. There will be parties at which revelers dress as their favorite redhead: Little Orphan Annie, Woody Woodpecker, Elmo.

How did we get to this sorry state? The redhead sprang from a mutated gene in Europe thousands of years ago. Yes, redheads are mutants, like comic book heroes—except without superpowers. Maybe that's why nobody has proposed a plan to save the redhead. We don't even count as an endangered species. If redheads were as adorable as pandas, scientists would select a male and female and house them in a habitat, such as an Irish pub, that would encourage mating.

On the bright side, the redhead has almost a century left to make its mark in the world and become a legend that will live forever. And I, for one, see a time when people will speak in whispered tones of the days when redheads roamed the earth.

Patricia McNamee Rosenberg lives in Oak Park, Illinois. Thanks to the wonders of chemistry, she is still a redhead.

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Related topics: Hair Endangered Species


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Comments (55)

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I have straw berry blonde hair .yet my mother is tan has black hair and brown green eyes although my red hair is diluted it has not been overpowerd .besides Irish genes r strong my mothers side has native American in them and even my cousins who half Mexican have pale skin blue eyes and a paler shade of brown hair . The gene is recessive and it's a 50 fifty chance whose genes will win out determining your appearance do even if your not a red head some one down the line ought to be if you carry the gene.

Posted by Thea on January 9,2012 | 09:49 PM

I'm sorry, but did redheads just get called actual mutants? No wonder the prejudice surrounding them is so high. No wonder kids get the snot kicked out of them at school. This is absolutely ridiculous. There are also rumours that blondes will go extinct, all of which are highly unlikely. The research is shoddy, at best. Red hair is a recessive trait. It doesn't just disappear from the gene pool because it isn't expressed in one generation. If a child has dark brown hair, but carries the gene for red hair, their children COULD very well have red hair if their partner also carries the trait. It's all up to chance.

Posted by Megan on December 6,2011 | 11:08 AM

PLEASE if their is a legendary song'EVERYBODY LOVES A REDHEAD" how can I obtain a copy or how could I get the words and or music?

MANY THANKS...JIM

Posted by JAMES PMC KENNA on May 31,2011 | 09:24 PM

I'm a full blown natural redhead from birth. Once,and hopefully for all time, I would like to set the record straight that it is NOT TRUE REDHEADS DON'T GRAY WITH AGE. I am living proof that my once bright, golden, much admired red hair gradually darkened in my thirties, then began to turn gray in what I've been told is a very distinguished looking manner during succeeding years. My hairdresser for the past thirty years of my life can verify my hair color change to which no dyes or other artificial substances has ever been applied. (I intend soon to post a photo of my hair on my blog, "Along The Way" http://www.joared-along.blogspot.com/)

I also understand the prediction of eminent red hair extinction has since been determined to be untrue.

Surely does seem the falsehoods about us persist just as when centuries ago some societies believed we were witches and other cultures revered us as gods or goddesses.

Posted by Joared on February 11,2011 | 01:51 AM

Red heads do it better!

Posted by upupup on December 17,2010 | 07:20 PM

I hope the extinction part isn't true. In my opinion some of the most beautiful women on earth are redheads: Julianne Moore, Angie Everhart, Christina Hendricks to name a few. The world will not be the same without redheads.

Posted by Scott S. on November 28,2010 | 11:38 PM

Oh, being a redhead. I feel like having red hair creates a unique experience. Something special that redheads only get. I've been stopped on the street by complete strangers on the subject of my hair color. Red hair dye isn't a dye that stays in hair long. There is something attractive about the color. As a redhead there are the ups and downs. Obviously, the childhood name calling. My chosen name of harassment on the playground was ketchup head. It's funny now, but it made me punch a boy in the face. This article was entertaining to me. I have auburn copper hair and I have thought about similar situations. What will the world be like without redheads and how appreciative I am to have it. My hopes are to have a child with red hair. My chances are 1 in 4 but you get what you get even if you think your more likely to have a redhead.

Posted by Tia on December 14,2009 | 02:02 PM

Red is recessive just about anything trumps it.

Like white people in general, if they keep cross breeding the gene will be further supressed but when another recessive comes along it will start all over again. They can't get rid of us that fast. Red is indomminable

Posted by Ken on November 2,2009 | 09:18 PM

I have been red on the head, all my life. I am 49 and still have the same color red hair I have had all my life. I wasnt bothered with being called names as a kid. I have always like my hair. I have a darker color of red than most and it is straight. Oh, I have brown eyes also so I am a true minority. I would hate for it to turn white or grey. My father still had auburn hair when he passed away at 68. I think we should all get together and form a nation wide club for Redheads. Anyone want to start it up?

Posted by Duane Kirk on September 25,2009 | 01:08 AM

My most recent ex is a redhead...most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on. Maybe it's the Irish in me, but I don't think I'll ever be satisfied until I find another one. There's just something magical about that red hair and all that comes with it..esp with the combination of green eyes.

I find comfort in this article knowing that I won't be around when the world sees the end of red hair. I can only hope that my taste in red hair doesn't pass down to my great great grand children...for their quest will be never ending and filled with disappointment.

Posted by Shaggy on August 26,2009 | 02:09 AM

I am a red head and have always loved being a red head, in fact, I get offended if someone thinks it is blonde when I am out in the sun. I have the green eyes and freckles that go along with my curly red locks. I wear it proudly and will never color it, there is no way to find my hair color in a box. I have varying shades of red in my hair at this point in my life (a fabulous 35 year old--I'm in my prime!) In the sun I look more like a strawberry blonde. When I was pregnant with my children my hair became a really dark auburn, bordering on brown. My children will have children with redhair (I'm hoping one out of three will...)I am one of three red heads in my family-so three out of 55...that is RARE!!! My cousin that has a red headed sister had a red headed son.
I have all kinds of nicknames that are fun, and some that are not so fun. Men seem to be fascinated with red hair these days and I hate the question I am most often asked "does the carpet match the curtains!!" So if you as a man ever think of asking a woman that--DON'T for the love of Pete, DON'T resist the tempation please. We hate that!!!! I once read that it takes passion, balls, and intelligence to love a red head, I'd say that is true!
I'm single and looking for a man with passion, balls, and intelligence...heavy on the intelligence and passion!!

Posted by Merideth Mc on August 6,2009 | 01:13 PM

Okay, so my red haired gene comes from my great-grandparents and so forth back and ended up skipping my grandparents and my parents and coming directly to me and a few choice cousins. When I was little, people used to call me Carrottop, Ginger, and Spot (more so for the freckles than the hair). I used to get into so many arguments with kids because of the whole nickname thing, which is why most of my friends believe in the temperamental stereotype. Unlike some of my friends, who happen to be red heads too, I never hated my hair. Every time some one commented negatively on the color, my friends used to just say they were jealous that their heads weren't on fire. I don't believe that red heads will become extinct; in fact, I think that there are more of us each year.

Posted by Lauren on April 6,2009 | 11:44 PM

Viva la Redheads!!! The story goes that my grandma had the 1st redhead in the family, and then another, and her mother in law (granddaddy's mother) raised her eyebrows, hhmmmm. Well, they say after the 3rd redheaded grandbaby, great grandma said 'Send them back'!!! I'm sure its just a family fun story, and am so glad because my Dad was the 4th redhead to be added to the family. I have 2 out of 3 redheaded siblings and I endured all the nicknames - 'Firestarter' of '80s movie fame mostly - and yet I revel in the attention and uniqueness of my beautiful red hair, and you know, sometimes having a reputation for a bad temper really isn't so bad!! I knew a colleague who dyed her hair red just for the attention, she was a natural blonde. Loved the article and all the comments. Let's celebrate who we are.

Posted by Anne-Marie on March 11,2009 | 09:01 PM

Iloved this article. I wanted to e-mail it to a friend, then saw all the comments. I was so surprised that so many others responded. Now it's my turn. I am the eldest with three redheaded siblings. Our mother was blessed with shimmering, golden, red locks. At sixty-six, my hair looks as if I'd spent a bundle on blonde highlights. After the birth of my children, my hair started to loose it's redness. Luckily, before that happened, I had waise length hair and decided to have it cut. I still have that hair saved. Every now and then, when someone doesn't believe I was ever a redhead, I pull it out. It's the same color as it was then in my twenties. So, if redheads become extinct by the 22nd century, maybe I should plan ahead and bequeath my locks to the Smithsonian.

Posted by Georgie Carnevalino on March 11,2009 | 06:22 PM

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