My Big Hang-Up in a Connected World
One man's rage against the communication revolution and the dying of civility
- By Ted Gup
- Smithsonian magazine, October 2010, Subscribe
My 81-year-old mother was sitting solemnly in a pew at Christ Church. It was a memorial service for a 101-year-old friend. In the midst of the pastor’s eulogy, my mother’s cellphone went off. The ringtone wasn’t a dirge by Chopin or Handel but the pulsating beat of “Are You Ready?” sung in full falsetto by the Chipmunks. Her 12-year-old granddaughter, Cassie, had programmed the phone.
Every head in the church turned upon my mother. Poor soul, she didn’t even know how to turn it off. Fearing it might erupt again, Mother sat on the phone, hoping to smother it. Seconds later the chapel was again filled with the sound of Chipmunks; it was Cassie calling to see if one of her friends might catch a ride home from school.
Like me, my mother was not quite ready for the communication revolution. As a teacher of journalism, I tell myself that all this connectedness is the link that joins the Family of Man. But in my quieter moments (of which there are now not many), I see we’ve created a nation of zombies—heads down, thumbs on tiny keyboards, mindless millions staring blankly, shuffling toward some unseen horizon. To them, the rest of us are invisible. Not long ago, a colleague was startled to see a young woman approaching; she had been too absorbed in her texting to notice the words “Men’s Room” on the door. For one brief shining moment, she was at a loss for words.
These days, I, too, carry a cellphone clipped to my belt, hoping the pod people (er...iPod people) will mistake me for one of their own. But I rarely turn it on. Judging from all the urgency around me, I alone seem to have nothing to say, nothing that demands I communicate that instant. I await no call, text or e-mail of such import that it couldn’t be served as well with a stamp and a complete sentence, both of which seem destined for history’s dustbin.
For many, wandering off the grid is death itself. Legend has it that when evangelist Aimee Semple McPherson died in 1944, she was buried with a connected telephone so she could alert the world to her resurrection. (Of such stories, journalists say: “Too good to check.”) This generation may well choose to be entombed with their BlackBerries, ready to text that final OMG! from the other side.
IMO (“In My Opinion”) we’ve gone too far. Not everything has to be shared the moment it is conceived. (We cover our mouths when we cough, why not when we think?) I say any thought that doesn’t have a shelf life beyond five seconds is best left unarticulated. Alexander Graham Bell liked keeping in touch as much as the next guy, but during the ceremony following his death on August 2, 1922, telephones across North America were silenced in tribute to their inventor. Quaint as that may sound today, I wonder if a little silence and some self-restraint might be in order. Like my poor mother, it seems few of us now know when or how to turn it all off. Perhaps the Chipmunks asked the right question: “Are you ready?” For me, the answer is “No way.”
Ted Gup is professor and chair of the journalism department at Emerson College in Boston. He is the author of several books.
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Comments (17)
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Another one to Ms. Girvan,
The rule about beginning a sentence with "But" probably changed at about the same time it became acceptable to end a sentence with a preposition - to wit: "...attaching me to all those friends and family whom I lovingly rather keep a little bit space between.)" In the words of those youngsters who so annoy us with their text speak: BOO YA!
Posted by Tina on November 15,2010 | 03:17 PM
IMO: I loved the article, and the comments. But I still plan keep my phone until my final OMG.
Posted by Ranjani on October 17,2010 | 01:10 AM
I do think that one must learn how to relate to these new things because they simply became part of our everyday life. Like everything there is a bad and a good side to these. It can be very disturbing when someone calls you up at a very unexpected time, but there are cases when having a cell phone is very useful. Like when my wife and I split up our family in a big mall or in town one shopping and the other taking care (or running after) the children. By the time she finishes she might or she might not find us on the original spot...
However be brave to wait to turn on that thing until after breakfast or early in the evening, it DOES NOT have to be turned on always.
Posted by Ati Lévai on October 13,2010 | 03:00 AM
Dear Professor Gup,
I am a doctoral candidate living on a college campus in the middle of the U.S.
I just returned from the laundry mat. I put my laundry in the machine, went out to the car to get soap and when I returned- there was a girl texting and taking my dirty laundry out of the machine. Only when I screamed at her, did she realize that the dry, dirty, smelly laundry did not belong to her. This is a typical day. The mantra on campus is "to teach critical thinking". So amusing.
I do not own a cellphone. Never have. Never will. I do not want any of my boyfriends to know where I am or what I am doing at any given time. It keeps them on their toes.
Posted by Ann on October 12,2010 | 07:34 PM
I am probably older than the writer of this article. An attitude like his is ludicrous on its face. Language changes, and modes of communication change as well. This is the age of instant communication. Linda Teasdale may well be right, because young people are not using their phones for calling, but for texting and Facebook. Even some of us who are older use our smartphones for shopping lists, texting our grandkids and each other, storing our pictures, and getting emails from our Drs.
Those who reject new (unfamiliar) ideas and cling to their old ways too closely just get old faster. When a mind is stuck at a certain time, you are old. I too laughed at the belt clip. The only thing clipped on anything anymore is the new tiny iPod.
Posted by Mrs. F on October 12,2010 | 12:06 PM
I agree with you. I love technology, but cell phones, iPods, Mp3 players, Facebook, and Twitter had seem to have dehumanized us. Although, all of these things have their great uses, there should be some moderation involved. It is not necessary to be joined at the hip with our gadgets.
Posted by Rose Ann Jones on October 8,2010 | 10:36 PM
Cell phones, unfortunately have become a necessary evil in todays society. They are used for business along with personal use.
Posted by Diana on October 7,2010 | 03:16 PM
Dear Mr.Spamer,
I was told by my children's teachers, "creative writing is...well, creative. Correct spelling stifles creativity" Pondering that thought,'alright' instead of 'all right' is ...'alright'?
Posted by RJ on October 5,2010 | 08:26 PM
So how's that buggy-whip business going? Think the whole horseless-carriage craze will just fizz out like the Lindy Hop? Dang kids and their 'trends'!
Posted by WhipperShnapper on October 5,2010 | 03:58 PM
Dear Ms. Girvan: "But" is spelled correctly. That's alright, teacher of journalism; we will not take you "to" seriously.
Posted by Earle Spamer on October 5,2010 | 12:57 PM
Thank you Mr. Poe for setting straight the grammarian whose spelling could have used some improvement to boot.
However much we may not like it, instant communication is here to stay. But perhaps we could hold out for a little better grammar, spelling, and, in fact, consideration of privacy as this revolution overtakes us.
I can accept change, as we all should. But we should not accept change without limits.
Posted by Patrick on October 5,2010 | 03:05 AM
I'm of a completely different generation than you, or most of the people who have commented. And I must say, I laughed out loud - not where you would think.
While I think you have a valid point, your world of turned off cell phones and hand over word sneezes isn't somewhere (somewhen?) I would want to live. I thrive on media, social networking, cell phones, smart phones, iPads. I am the iPod generation.
Which is why I feel I should tell you that when you write the sentence "These days, I, too, carry a cellphone clipped to my belt, hoping the pod people (er...iPod people) will mistake me for one of their own." I laughed.
We may walk into the wrong restroom because we're texting, and we may miss the announcement on the T because our iPods are blasting, and we may frown at handing in our papers printed out instead of emailed or posted, but we have our own details. We notice when you clip your cell phone to your belt - and we automatically know that you, kind Sir, are not one of us.
Posted by Josie on September 27,2010 | 01:55 PM
I suppose it became okay to start a sentence with "But" when it became okay to write a response to an article containing the sentence "Please don't take me to (sic) seriously." Didn't your spell / grammar checker catch that?
Posted by Don Poe on September 26,2010 | 11:59 AM
Dear Mr Gup,
Thank you for your humorous article.
My friend and I were discussing this subject at dinner. We agree that we are not ready for this type of communication, which includes disruptive noises and loud mindless chatter in our personal space.
I imagine that silence will come 'round full circle in this age of Facebook where you may read a daily diary of everyone so why call and talk to find out what they're doing. When two teens are sitting together in the back seat of the car texting each other, there is vocal silence.
I miss common sense, (we needed a law to not Text and Drive?),and good old fashioned conversation with long silences in between to think.
Posted by Linda Teasdale on September 25,2010 | 02:38 PM
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