It’s a Woman’s World With the End of Men
Men are floundering in the 21st century, according to Hanna Rosin, and the shift has wide-ranging implications for the workplace and the home
- Smithsonian.com, September 11, 2012, Subscribe
(Page 4 of 4)
It has definitely changed the way I raise my children. My daughter and my elder son are both equally smart and they are both equally good students, but it is obvious that the things that school requires of you as a student these days come more naturally to her than they do to him. These are things outside of academic achievements, like sitting still, focusing, organizing yourself, getting yourself together for a project, doing these long verbal reports. They can both do them, but it is more of a struggle for him than it is for her.
A mom once told me, “Given the way school is these days, we all have to be our son’s secretary.” When she said that, I thought, I don’t want to be my son’s secretary. I don’t want his wife to have to be his secretary. We want him to be as independent as possible.
I feel like there are three ways that one can respond. The first way is to try and change him. The other option is to try to change the schools, which a lot of people do. But the middle ground I struck was to try and cultivate his own inner secretary. I set up a chart for him that tells him what he needs to do everyday. It will say, bring your P.E. bag, and don’t forget your lunch. Do this and do that. He has to check the chart everyday. If he forgets his lunch, he forgets his lunch, and it’s too bad, rather than me haranguing him on every single detail of his life. That is the way of meeting the world halfway, giving him the tools so he can meet the world as it is as best as he can without completely bending his nature or the nature of the world.
This interview series focuses on big thinkers. Without knowing whom I will interview next, only that he or she will be a big thinker in their field, what question do you have for my next interview subject?
Can women fit the genius mold? We all know women can succeed within institutions and in school and sort of check the boxes in the workplace, but do women fit the out-of-the-box mold? Can you imagine a female Bill Gates, someone who works outside the institution, drops out of work, completely follows her own rhythm? That is the kind of woman that seems next on the landscape. And can that be a woman?
From my last interviewee, Alain de Botton, founder of the School of Life in London and proponent of bibliotherapy: What is wrong with the world, and what are you trying to do about it?
I think we are so fixed in our ways of thinking about gender dynamics. I am trying to get people to acknowledge what is happening right now and to respond to the world as it is, as opposed to how they think it is. I think that is the very first step of changing anything about our American workforce, about marriage relations, about the decline of marriage and children being raised alone.
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Comments (1)
I guess I'll have to read the book, which is probably the objective here. I can't believe an author on Rosin's level would make such gross generalizations, except in a short interview. "The End of Men" and "Men are floundering..." are words used to get an emotional response I guess, because based on this short interview, I interpret Rosin to say that men (and women) are adjusting to new social norms, not that men are history and we are moving to female dominated society, which the title alone implies. "...but it is obvious that the things that school requires of you as a student these days come more naturally to her than they do to him." The exact same statement would be an accurate description of one of my daughters. Let's not go in to the fact the men and women have different brain morphologies and consequently one is better than the other at certain skills, which might also suggest that one might be more in need of a secretary than another. Keeping in mind that not very long ago, the vast majority secretaries were men. I really want to read the dedication in the book to her son, hopefully revealing how he could not be taken as a slap in the face on some level.
Posted by Scott on September 12,2012 | 03:03 PM